I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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