I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
