if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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