I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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