we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize
