1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
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