I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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