Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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