fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
