I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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