I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
