Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
