Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
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