he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
where does the pee come out of this thing
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
