ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
