Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
