you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Quick, to the slutcave!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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