She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
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