PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
The Russian stripper asked if I like foreign girls. I told her I absolutely fucking hate accents. Most awkward 7 minutes ever
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Randomize
