I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
