I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
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Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
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You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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