Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
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