Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
