I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I just got carded by a ten year old.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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