I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
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New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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