dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
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