Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
