They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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