from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
