omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
