i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Randomize
