How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
