cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
