my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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