Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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