The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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