Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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