sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Randomize
