is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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