sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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