Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
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