I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
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