just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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