I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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