That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
