Apparently you make a good broom.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
