Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
