I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Come on in and take your pants off
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