Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
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