im drinking this country out of the recession.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
