btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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