im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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