3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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