Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
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