You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
