i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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