I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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