do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Randomize
