i just had sex bonerless
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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