He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
