I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Randomize
