sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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