Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
